Spells, Counterspells, and Lightning Don't Mix
by JoAmazing
Summary: While the Avengers and Loki are fighting the Enchantress, Thor thinks it's a good idea to blast Amora with lightning, leaving Fury and SHIELD scrambling to deal with eight chaotic little children and find a cure all at once. Minivengers story with Loki and Amora as well.
1. Chapter 1

_Okay, this is gonna be pretty fun. Another new story for the win. I love minivengers stories, so I thought I'd make one of my own. So yeah._

_Formal Disclaimer, I don't own Marvel or anything like that. And also, some parts of this story were written or thought up by my sister, the amazing PlushChrome, who is also my editor and creative consultant. If you dig my stories, make sure and check out hers._

_Jo~_

* * *

Fury stared around at the panic before him, wondering where it had all gone wrong.

He supposed the day had started ordinarily enough, with a freaky mage woman tearing through New York and screaming for Thor, while wild, magic dogs raced around her, barking up a storm and generally causing mass chaos. This, of course, managed to draw the attention of SHIELD and Fury himself, and as always, the Avengers had been called in.

Rogers, Captain America, made it to the battle first, which was a bit of a surprise considering how close Stark and Banner were, and he immediately engaged Blondie in hand-to-magic combat. Unfortunately, even with the super serum, Rogers was no god, and this woman was obviously Asgardian, as she healed quickly and spent her time screeching insults at mortals. Though, she dressed like some twenty something waitress, who liked costume parties and was always desperate for a date.

Which, in and of itself was impairing to Rogers fighting, as he was much too much of a gentlemen to look at that amount of cleavage and exposed thigh.

And then Stark decided to grace everyone with his presence, along with the Other Guy, the Mr. Hyde to one of the world's leading scientists, and an expert at maintaining his cool. Briefly, Fury wondered how exactly Stark had made Banner mad enough to switch sides and fight, considering the two had taken an instant liking to each other when they first met, and had quickly become close enough friends for Google to turn their homepage logo into a 'Tony/Bruce besties' tribute.

Both man and beast launched right into the attack. Stark bantering a bit at Rogers over the comlink and attacking Amora to distract her before starting to fire tank missiles at all the dogs, ignoring Rogers when he reminded him that he might need them later.

And the Hulk (the Other Guy. The Beast. Whatever you wanted to call it. Him?... Anyway) promptly began doing what he was famed to do. Which, in other words, was to smash. Ripping through the dogs like mad and slamming their skulls into buildings, roaring away as he did so.

Then came Barton And Romanoff. Fury would have to talk to them about quick responses, regardless of wherever they really had been. Romanoff immediately jumped on top of one of the dogs, and began riding it and shooting at others as she ran past, while Barton covered her and Rogers from above, shooting at dogs and Amora alike from atop a gargoyle on a hotel building. He jabbered away at Stark as well, and the two traded insults and compliments alike.

As long as they were working, Fury didn't mind.

And working they were. The dogs were getting overwhelmed with the onslaught of arrows, repulser beams, bullets, and giant green fists coming their way.

And then the Prince of Asgard himself arrived, and took over for a panting Rogers on the home front. He was much more durable and strong than Rogers was, and he seemed to have quite a large amount of knowledge on magic for someone who Fury had pegged as a 'hit-it-till-it's-dead' kind of guy, and he was making much more progress on bringing the obnoxious sorceress down a few pegs.

Rogers joined the others on taking care of the dogs, protecting Romanoff's back and shielding her from flying debris when the need arose. Everyone talked on the comlink as they worked, even Thor, who was not used to such technology, and it was obvious that to them too, this was just a normal Tuesday morning.

And then, to everyone's not-surprise, Loki showed up. This was starting to become somewhat common. In fact, the Avengers fought alongside Loki more than they fought against him. It had started with them teaming up to save the world a couple times (apparently, Loki didn't like competition), and had continued with them being at the right places at the right times to constantly save each others life.

Of course, he couldn't be part of the team (and had laughed in Coulson's face when the agent tried to debrief him), but he responded to threats to the world at large or even just threats to towns (or to Thor) and had somehow managed to become a very important part of how the team worked.

Thor and Loki fought like true siblings no matter how serious the situation, Barton and Romanoff still didn't trust him, and together, Stark and the mischief god were almost completely unbearable with the way they not only flouted all authority, but made a joke out of everything and everyone, but Loki did work well with the team. He and Thor fought together effortlessly, his magic was incredibly handy, and the friendshipish type thing he had constructed with Stark and Banner both proved to be very conducive to the SHIELD research department.

And with Amora hurting Thor, Loki was bound to show up. And with his magic whirring around him (without impairing his own comlink, which he was using to exchange pleasantries with Stark), Thor was freed to help take out the remaining dogs.

Fury didn't even need to get involved. All he had to do was sit back and listen as Barton laughed at Romanoff's jibe at cheerleaders, Rogers seamlessly directed the team, Thor and Loki argued over the sound of Amora's insults (the whole 'imagined slights' thing was rearing it's ugly head again. Fury facepalmed) and Stark clapped the Hulk on the shoulder and told 'Brucey' to hang in there for 'like, a sec'.

But then... Then Amora decided to blow up with green magic, screeching so shrilly that everyone flinched and Steve actually likened the woman to a teapot whistling, which Clint found so funny that he lapsed in his concentration and nearly falling off of his perch with laughter.

Which really just served to turn a woman scorned into a woman determined to gut them all, even Thor. Loki immediately informed her that any attempts to hurt his brother would be met with immediate death before promptly getting into yet another argument with Thor, who was very excited to be called 'brother' again.

Fury shouted at them to get their heads in the games, along with Rogers, while Romanoff and Barton took down the last few dogs and turned to assist Thor and Loki with capturing Amora and Stark flew over to the Hulk as he shrunk down to Banner, handing him a new set of clothes that he had removed from a pouch that seemed to effortlessly fit into the smooth design of his suit. It must've taken him a very long time to construct that.

But Thor and Loki's distraction proved to be fatal.

Because as soon as they were otherwise occupied, Amora began screaming spells again. Loki immediately began countering with some of his own, and then apparently Thor thought it would be a good idea to blast the sorceress with lightning, which _everyone_ but the Thunderer knew was a really bad idea.

And the last thing Fury heard from his team was a resounding "YOU IDIOT!" from Loki.

And then everything was silent.

Which brought Fury to where he was now, running out into the street with his agents and looking around at the fleeing pedestrians and large dog carcasses, looking around for a team he didn't see.

What he did see was received with a mixture of disbelief and a sinking stomach. Because where the Avengers and Loki had previously been fighting one Enchantress, there now stood eight lost looking, very little children.

Children who couldn't be mistaken for anyone else anywhere in the world. The Avengers.

One miniature Tony Stark was the first to seem to come to himself, and he sighed and walked to one of Fury's agents.

"Where am I?" The little boy demanded, frowning. He was around six or seven years old and had brown eyes and shaggy dark hair that looked like it hadn't been combed in a couple of days, and he stumbled on his much too big clothes as he walked. "Was there some kind of security threat? Have I been removed?"

"What?" The agent said, eyes wide.

"You're that SHIELD place, right?" Tony said. "Strategic Homeland Intervention: Enforcement something?"

"And Logistics Division," The agent relayed, still looking lost.

"Right, that," Tony said.

"WHERE AM I?" A booming little voice shouted. Fury looked around and saw the little version of Thor, noting that the around eight year old little boy was still large and muscled for his age, and had puppy-dog blue eyes. He scrambled out of the huge metal armor, leaving him in Thor's large, long sleeved t-shirt.

"What's going on?" The voice of non other than Barton shouted, trying to be heard over the noise. He looked just a little bit older than Thor, but was still a little shorter and thinner. He glanced at one of the dogs and his eyes widened. "Is this some new act? I didn't volunteer for this!"

"Excuse me," The mini Steve Rogers piped up to the agent Tony was talking to. He looked older than Barton, perhaps eleven, but was only an inch or two taller than the younger child, and was thinner by far. Fury guessed the super serum hadn't transferred to his child form "But what's happened?"

"Er..." The agent said, casting a lost glance at Fury, who didn't quite know how to help him.

A small girl with blonde hair who looked to be seven burst into tears, her pretty little face twisting in fear. Good thing? The Enchantresses skimpy outfit was only a bit too big for the little girl, and was just about the right size long-ways to almost make it to the child's ankles.

"Where is my mother?" She gasped out. "What is this place?"

"скажите мне союз я быть" Little Natasha demanded in Russian, asking them to tell her where she was. She glared around in clear panic, but looked tense and ready. As was unsurprising considering her origins. She looked to be the same age as Amora, and her red hair was long.

A very small little boy who couldn't be more then five years old appeared behind Fury, who stiffened a bit in surprise. The boy was thin and didn't reach Fury's waist and he gazed at the director with scared, but non the less curious, big green eyes. His hair was dark as midnight and looked almost as unkempt as Stark's, and the little Loki had also pulled off the over-sized leathers and metal, now dressed in his older selves much too large emerald tunic. It looked like a bathrobe on him.

"Brother!" Mini Thor exclaimed, rushing to little Loki and enveloping him in a hug before holding him at arms length. "Do you know where we are?"

Loki hesitated and looked around. "Perhaps... Midgard?" He said, his voice surprisingly quiet and meek.

"Are you sure?" Thor demanded.

"You could ask him," Loki said, gesturing to Fury. Immediately upon seeing the adult, Thor pushed Loki behind him and glared, looking ready to tackle Fury, who shook his head to get his bearings back a little.

"Well, mortal?" Thor demanded.

"That's right," Fury confirmed, raising an unimpressed eyebrow at Thor. "Midgard."

"What guard?" Barton piped up, rushing over to Fury, along with most of the kids, Stark sticking around near the confused looking agent and tapping his foot, his little face comically agitated. "Is that some kind of guard that sticks around the middle of things? Or maybe they deal with middle ground?"

"Midgard is a realm, moron," Thor scoffed loudly.

"Prince Thor?" Amora asked, sniveling and rubbing at her wet cheek. "Where am I?"

"Apparently Midgard, dear maiden," Thor exclaimed with a large smile. "Fear not, for I will forge the way back to Asgard. For a lovely goddess like yourself, I will trifle not with conquests in this puny realm."

Amora beamed at him.

"No one's going anywhere," Fury cut in, glaring steadily at Thor.

"And don't call me a moron," Barton sniffed disdainfully. "You can't be a prince, anyway. This is America."

"America's a free country," Rogers chimed in with a nod.

"Америка?" Little Romanoff cut in, frowning in concentration. "Speak... English?"

"That's correct," Fury told her.

"Cool, she's foreign," Barton said with a smile, turning to Romanoff. "Me Clint," He gestured to himself, speaking slowly and clearly. "What your name?"

Romanoff punched his shoulder. "Not stupid," She said angrily. "You no need speak like baby."

"Right, right, sorry," Barton glared. "You didn't have to hit me."

"Come on, come on," Tony snapped at the agent. "Is it safe to go back to my house yet, or not? You know what? Just forget it, Mr. Stoic. Get me a phone and I'll just call Jarvis. Maybe he'll tell me what's going on."

"YOU WILL NOT KEEP US HERE!" Thor deemed in his loud voice. "We will return to Asgard at once!"

"Was there a battle?" Loki chimed, peering at Fury from behind Thor, his eyes lighting up. "Is that why there are slain dogs around?"

"I figured it was an act gone wrong," Barton said with a shrug. "Did I fall and hit my head or something?"

"Explain why you lack smart," Romanoff shot at him.

"Explain why you lack English," Barton shot back, frowning. "Why do you got to pick on me?"

"Let's just calm down," Rogers said steadily, stepping between the two agents before looking up at Fury with a determined glare. "I'd really like to know where we are, sir. And who you are."

"I'm Director Fury," Fury said, getting right to business. "And you're in New York."

Rogers looked doubtful.

"Hey, sorry to interrupt, Director Furious," Stark inputted. "But I'd like to know what happened at the mansion, because I must've passed out or something like that. Was it attacked? Was it gassed? Did Jarvis get hurt?" His eyes lit up. "Did Miss Clancy get fired?"

Fury opened his mouth to answer and then paused, looking around at the group of children. "Where's Banner?" He asked.

"Who?" Barton asked.

"The other kid, right?" Rogers asked Fury. "I think he's over there." He gestured to one of the dead furry masses, where an agent was leaning over and talking to someone out of sight.

Stark bounded to the carcass just in front of Fury, who followed and saw that the little version of Banner was trying to check the dog for a heartbeat. The kid looked around the same age as Stark and had brown curly hair and little freckles across his nose. He was wearing the blue button up that the older Stark had so carefully packed for him, and was clinging to a pair of oversized glasses.

"It's dead, dear," The agent was saying, her brows furrowed in confusion. "It's okay though, it was a mean doggie."

"W-why's it dead?" Banner asked, stuttering slightly.

"It probably had rabies, so they shot it," Stark said before the agent could respond more tactfully. "I'm Tony. This is some guy named Fury. Let me guess, you don't know how you got here either?"

Banner shook his head, looking completely mystified at the boy in front of him.

"Figures," Tony said. "Good luck getting anything out of these guys. They're all 'trained' or whatever. What's your name?"

"... I'm Bruce," Banner said.

"That's cool," Tony grinned and then turned around, looking at the Barton, Loki, and Steve, who had come forward to watch. Thor and Amora were both standing in the middle of the street, frowning at Loki, and Natasha was currently looking around calculatingly. "I'm guessing all of you have names too?"

"Yes," Rogers said with a frown. "I'm Steve Rogers."

"No you're not," Tony said immediately.

Rogers blinked. "Yes I am," He said.

"No, you're really not," Tony said, snorting slightly. "If you were Steve Rogers, you would be like, three times the size you are now. And around fifteen years older. Your costume looks a bit impressive, but you don't even have one that fits."

Rogers stared at him and then looked down at his clothing with a frown. "I don't know what you're talking about," He said. "But I _am_ Steve Rogers. That's my name."

"He must be a different Steve Rogers," Fury said absently, turning to the agent. "Get a quinjet ready for transport. We're gonna take 'em back to base."

"Yes sir," The agent said, turning and leaving with a last look at Bruce.

"I'm Clint," Barton said again. "But that's not really important right now. How did we get to New York?"

"It's important," Rogers informed him. "If we don't know each other, how are we gonna know what to do?"

"Little America is right," Tony declared before turning to Loki. "Who are you and what's with your weird friends?"

"I'm Loki," Loki said, frowning slightly. "And that's my brother, Thor." He gestured to where Thor was shifting impatiently. "I don't know the girl, but I think she's Asgardian like Thor and me."

"Asgardian?" Tony said, raising an eyebrow. "Is that like, some kind of country?"

"It's probably a realm," Barton said with a chuckle. "Like the big kids 'Midgard',"

Loki lapsed into silence, but he pouted slightly in a way that told Fury he didn't really like to be made fun of.

"_Looookiiii_," Thor whined, striding over to the group again with Amora on his heels. "Let's _goooo_."

"This is no time for whining," Steve said, frowning at him. "And we can't really go anywhere. We were probably put here for a reason. Maybe they're evacuating cities again."

"Keep out of this, you stupid mortal," Thor said with a disdainful sniff. "This maiden wants to go back home, and as a prince of Asgard, it is my duty-"

"It is your _duty_ to be quiet," Fury snapped, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring. "In case you haven't noticed, we have a bit of a situation. You and your girlfriend aren't going anywhere until I get this figured out."

"How dare you speak to me like that!" Thor shouted.

"Yes," Amora piped up. "He is roy-al-ty," She said the word like she'd been practicing.

"Not here he isn't," Fury said. "Now, it's not safe here. We've got transportation on the way that'll take you to a secure location."

"I am royalty everywhere!" Thor exclaimed.

"Thor," Loki spoke up quietly, moving to his brother's side so he could tug at his hand. "Thor, this isn't like Asgard."

"What is an Asgard?" Steve asked, throwing his hands in the air.

"I told you, it's a make-believe world," Barton said matter-of-factly. "Like Narnia."

Steve looked at him blankly.

"Really?" Stark said. "You've never read Narnia?"

"Asgard is not make-believe!" Thor snapped. "It is a realm that is entirely above your mortal understanding!"

"BE QUIET!" Fury shouted, causing all of the children to fall silent and look up at him except for Thor, who snorted.

"We people of Asgard do not do anything quietly," He said haughtily.

"Well, your brother seems to be managing just fine," Fury said, pointing at Loki, who gave him a look like 'leave me out of this'. "I bet he's much better at being quiet than you are."

Thor looked at his brother thoughtfully. "I WILL ACCEPT THAT CHALLANGE!" He exclaimed.

"Good, start now," Fury told him. "And as for the rest of you, try and stay where you are while we wait for a quinjet."

"What's a quinjet?" Tony asked. "Some kind of specialized, spy planes like you see in TV shows?"

"Yeah, something like that," Fury mumbled. "Hold still while I call someone." He turned to some agents. "Watch them closely. Got it?"

"Yes sir," The agents all chorused.

Fury strode away and called Hill. He told her about the situation and directed that all resources should be thrown into their magic department to try and reverse the spell, as well as telling her to make sure there was plenty of kids clothes for the Mini Avengers when they got to the Helicarrior. By the time he was hanging up, the quinjet appeared, landing with a whir.

Fury turned to the kids again, ready to tell them to get on the plane.

Tony was on one of the agents cell-phones, Romanoff was inspecting an arrow that she must've found with a glint in her eyes, Banner was standing right where Fury had last seen him and looking at everyone nervously, Amora was crying into the shoulder of a very lost looking agent, and Rogers was attempting to hold Thor and Barton apart.

Fury didn't immediately see Loki, and he nearly panicked before spotting him a little ways away, tearing a car engine apart with his bare hands.

"I thought I told you to watch these kids!" Fury shouted at his agents.

"Well, we were," An agent, Michaels or something like that, said, looking overwhelmed. "But Amora fell and hurt her hand and so Wallace had to take care of that and then... Well, we lost track. There are so many. We have eyes on Banner."

"Small achievement," Fury said, rolling his eye before turning to the mess before him. Alright, first things first. He rushed over to the fight and pulled Barton and Thor apart. "What happened?" He demanded.

"This mortal said I was an infant!" Thor exclaimed. "He said I was foolish!"

"Yeah, because you said I didn't know anything," Clint shot back, fighting against Fury's hold. "And then you punched me!"

"Please, that was hardly a hit," Thor said. "You are nothing but a weakling!"

"Oh yeah?" Barton scoffed. "Give me a bow and arrow and let's prove that theory, your majesty."

"If I had a sword I would smite thee!" Thor shouted.

"And if I had a gag, I would shut thee up," Stark said, turning to Thor with a look of irritation as he put a hand over the receiver of his phone. "Can't you see I'm trying to talk to someone?"

"Thor, shut up," Fury said to the god. "You're not a prince here and if you continue to hit people and call them rude names, I will have you Hulk Caged. Got it?"

"That depends," Thor said stiffly. "What is this 'Hulk Cage' that you speak of?"

"Solitary confinement," Fury informed him. "As soon as we get back to base. That's a time-out."

"Ha!" Barton laughed.

"Don't get a big head," Fury snapped at him. "You shouldn't pick fights with people bigger than you. Now I want all of you to get on the plane, and I don't want any protests. That means you, Godling!"

Though clearly unhappy about it, Thor and Barton both walked to the quinjet, shoving each other, and Rogers panted a little and followed them.

Turning, Fury saw the next biggest problem. He rushed over to Natasha and took the arrow out of her hands. She swore in Russian and Fury glanced at her.

"We don't use language like that," He said sternly.

"Speak language?" Natasha asked, looking curious.

"Yes," Fury confirmed. "Теперь в плоскости Прежде чем я." Luckily, she did as he said and got in the quinjet with no other complaint.

Fury directed his attention to Loki, whose hands were now covered in oil and little scratch marks. He didn't seem to mind.

"Hey, don't do that," Fury said, rushing over to him and taking the electronic parts away from him with a glare. "That belongs to somebody."

"Oh," Loki frowned apologetically. "... What is the use of such a metal box?"

"It's transportation," Fury informed him. "Like a plane." The little godling just looked blank. Right, Asgardian. "Like a horse."

Loki's eyes widened and he looked down at the car regretfully. "Did I kill it?" He asked, voice high.

"It's not alive," Fury sighed. "It's..." Explaining would take too long. "It runs on magic. Now, why don't you get in the plane with your brother and get cleaned up."

"Thor?" Loki asked, pursing his lips.

"That's right, and he's the quinjet right now," Fury told him. "And it's a wonder I managed to get him there. Go make sure he stays. Got it?"

Loki nodded and began walking to the quinjet.

"And don't take anything apart!" Fury called after him before turning to Amora, who was the next priority.

"I've got this," The agent who was holding her (the same one who told Banner the doggie was mean earlier) said with a sigh. "It was just a bit of a shock when she tripped, that's all. She's fine now."

"What's your name and level?" Fury asked her, as she seemed to be one of the only half-competent agents here.

"Tanya Wallace," The agent said. "Level five, sir. Research and Development, floor three of the Helicarrier."

Fury would have to remember that come promotion time. "Make sure and get Banner too," He told her. "See if he's alright."

Only Stark left. Fury was dreading this.

"No, I'm telling you," Little Tony was saying into his phone, looking angry and afraid. "That line can't be dead. Try again." After a second, he scowled darkly. "I'm six, now try again! Jarvis always answers the phone for me!"

"Jarvis is with your father," Fury said, taking the cell phone and snapping it shut.

"He never does stuff with them," Tony said obstinately. "He stays with me."

"Yeah, but right now, he's needed else where," Fury informed the child. "Your father left you in my care for an indefinite amount of time. Those other kids were also left here to be protected."

"... Why isn't his phone on?" Tony asked, biting his lip.

"He's very busy doing stuff with your father," Fury invented.

"Looking for Captain America?" Tony inquired with a tone of someone who had this conversation quite often.

"Something like that," Fury agreed. "I need you to get in the quinjet for now, and you can see Jarvis when he gets back." Tony hesitated, so Fury upped the deal a little bit. "And when you get to the Helicarrier, you can have one of those cool portable phones all to yourself, okay?"

Tony nodded eagerly and then ran off before turning back. "Hey," He said jokingly. "Dad and Jarvis don't have to find Captain America, we've got Steve Rogers right in this plane!"

He vanished into the quinjet and Fury prayed that him and the other little monsters weren't tearing it to shreds.

* * *

_So yeah, that's-a my story. I'm also working on another story that takes precedence over this one, so it might be some time before I update, especially because I may get writers block, but uh, yeah. Follow, favorite, review, all that sort of thing. Definitely review. Cause that's like... really good and stuff. It makes me feel all happy. So..._

_UNTIL LATER!_

_Jo~_


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey, so I hope you like this next chapter. It's pretty cute. Also, to anyone who can get the reference to one of my other stories __Networking__ gets cool points. _

_Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel, Harry Potter, Hello Kitty, Robin Hood, Peter Pan 2, Star Wars, Sherlock Holmes, or Happy Meals. Also, this story is mostly mine, but some lines or ideas come from my illustrious sister, the magnificent PlushChrome._

_Jo~_

* * *

Fury looked around at the children admiring their new clothes and thought that Agent Hill must have some sort of humorous side he'd never noticed before.

Tony was in a _'I __am__ Iron Man'_ T-shirt and sneakers with light-up Arc Reactors on them, Natasha was in a Gothic Hello Kitty blouse and a miniature SHIELD jacket, Clint was wearing a t-shirt with a Disney's Robin Hood design on the front, Amora was wearing an official _'ThunderChicks' _ shirt that Thor's fangirls had mass produced and a cheerleader style skirt, Thor was in a Gryffindor football jersey, Bruce was in a green shirt and a pair of _'Hulk SMASH'_ socks, Steve was wearing an American flag jean jacket, and Loki was in a black _'Chillin' Like a Villain' _t-shirt and a pair of buckled boots.

"I like red!" Thor proclaimed, grinning at his shirt. "It is a most fitting color!"

"It looks nice," Amora told him.

"Robin Hood is cool," Clint was informing Natasha. "He's the best archer ever and he can disguise himself as this really dumb stork. I wanna be like him when I'm older, except for the fox part. And marrying Maid Marion. Yuck."

"Steal rich?" Natasha asked with a skeptical look. "Give poor?"

"Right, I want all that too," Clint said. "Hey! You could be one of my merry men!"

"Girl," Natasha reminded him.

"Well you can't be Maid Marion," Clint sighed. "That's gross. Maybe you can just... be a lost girl. Like in Peter Pan 2."

"Check this out!" Tony exclaimed, running over to Bruce and jumping up and down a few times to make his sneakers flash. "The little round designs light up when I stomp!"

"That _is_ nice," Bruce said with a shy smile.

Tony frowned, looking down at Bruce's socks. "Hey, where are your shoes?" He asked. Bruce shrugged and he rolled his eyes. "Just another thing Agent Chill messed up, no doubt. Come on, we'll get you a pair just like mine!"

"Sir Fury?" The hesitant voice of Loki piped up, once again from behind Fury.

The director stiffened and turned to him slowly, looking down at the little child. "What do you want?" He asked.

"Chilling is misspelled," Loki pointed out, looking down at his shirt. "And Thor says I'm a war-ee-er like Father and him, not a villain, so the person who made this is wrong. And what does being cold have to do with being bad? Is it a reference to the Frost Giants?"

"Go ask Hill," Fury told him.

"Lady Hill is nice..." Loki said, shifting a bit nervously. "But she thinks I shouldn't axe any questions."

The mispronunciation was adorable enough that Fury had to fight back a smile, especially as it was the first thing that the five-year-old had gotten wrong. He even knew how to read and correct spelling!

"Well, get Rogers or Barton to tell you," Fury said unconcernedly.

"Alright," Loki said, looking down at his feet and pouting slightly. He turned and walked a few feet towards Steve, who was coloring with a look of concentration on his face, before turning a light shade of pink and rushing over to Thor instead, hiding behind his brother and burying his face in the red shirt.

The little Thunderer didn't comment or even twitch and continued telling a tale to an avidly listening Amora as if it was the most ordinary thing ever.

Fury blinked and shook his head a little at the realization that _Loki_ was _shy_.

"Hey, Fury," Tony called, rushing over to the director and dragging Bruce along behind him. "You realize your first mate never gave Brucey shoes?"

"This is the Helicarrier," Fury sighed, noting that Tony used the same nickname his elder self had given to Banner. "He doesn't really _need_ shoes."

"Yeah, but I got a pair," Tony said with a frown. "And everybody else has shoes. Bruce should get a pair too or else it's not fair."

A bit of a bang sounded, and then there was some shouting and Fury looked up to see Amora sitting on the floor and crying a little, Natasha glaring above her and Loki and Steve holding Thor back while Clint glowered at the Thunderer.

"Hold that thought," Fury told Tony before striding over to the group. "Natasha!" He snapped. "We do not hit people!"

"She say not good girl," Natasha protested furiously. "She say freak!"

"It's true," Clint cut in. "Amora started it!"

"That doesn't change the fact that you hit her," Fury told Natasha sternly.

"No hit," Natasha corrected. "Push down."

"Yeah, well, same difference," Fury said firmly. "Go sit with Hill and wait for me."

"But girl say-" Natasha started indignantly.

"I'll get to her, now go," Fury ordered. Natasha stalked off with her head held high and Fury turned back to the group at large. "Steve," He decided. "Tell me what happened."

"Well, Clint and Natasha were playing a game," Steve relayed immediately, letting go of Thor, who glared at Clint. "Something about Robin Hood and foxes, and Natasha was playing a girl fox, but Amora said she couldn't be a maiden because she didn't act like a real girl. Clint said she was plenty good at being a girl, and Amora said she was a freak because she liked fighting and talked funny, and then Natasha pushed her down."

"She _isn't_ like a real girl," Amora interrupted with a sniffle. "And she pushed me before I said she talked funny."

"Don't interrupt," Fury said, giving the girl a stern glare. "I asked Steve to tell me what happened, not you. And don't give me those fake tears either. Do you think I haven't seen that trick before?"

Amora pouted and Steve got on with his story.

"Clint got mad when Amora made fun of the way Natasha spoke," He continued. "And he said she, Amora, was being stupid. Thor got mad because he thought it was cowardly to attack Amora when she was vulnerable, and he went to hit Clint. Loki and I grabbed him and then you came in."

"Great, we missed all the action," Tony spoke up, having come over with Bruce sometime during the explanation. "Well, it's boring now." He turned to Bruce. "Do you wanna draw some pictures?"

Bruce nodded, looking relieved to escape the drama, and the two ran off. Fury noticed with a warm feeling that Bruce was wearing Tony's light-up shoes and promptly crushed the emotion, turning back to the others.

"Amora," Fury said sternly. "It was very wrong to give Natasha a hard time. We don't call people names and we certainly don't make fun of them for something they can't control. Natasha is from a different place than you are and is struggling with our language and you shouldn't be a jerk about that. After all, you don't know anything about Earth. How would you like it if someone made fun of you for that?"

Amora looked ashamed. "Sorry," She said regretfully. "But she _is_ odd."

"News flash," Fury said. "Around here, _you_ would be considered the weird one. And don't apologize to me. Go apologize to Natasha, and then tell Hill to put you both on time-out for five minutes."

"Alright," Amora said, running off to where Natasha and Hill were sitting. Fury couldn't decide which of his agents looked more emotionless about the situation, Hill, or the little seven year old next to her.

"Okay," Fury said, turning back to the rest of the group. "Thor. If you don't stop being stupid and picking fights, I will ship you off to boarding school. Just because someone does something you don't like doesn't mean you get to knock 'em around. Okay?"

"But the mortal girl-" Thor started.

"The 'mortal girl' has a name," Clint scowled.

"Fine, _Lady Natasha_," Thor said, matching Clint's glare. "Invoked the fight, and _Clint_ was acting unchivalrously!"

"One, that's not a word," Fury glared. "Two, I happen to think it was very chivalrous of him to defend his friend when Amora was being a jerk to her."

"See?" Clint said to Thor with a satisfied smirk.

"Which doesn't change the fact," Fury said, turning to Clint. "That you _once_ _again_ decided it was good idea to fight with someone bigger than you. Unless you have some sort of leverage against them, or are on higher ground, it's just plain stupid. And you don't want to be stupid, do you?"

"... No," Clint said sullenly.

"Yeah, so stop it," Fury snapped. "I don't want to hear anymore arguments between you and Thor, got it?"

"Got it," Clint sighed.

"Got it, Thor?" Fury snapped at the godling.

"I understand perfectly," Thor frowned.

"Good, now go play," Fury said, turning and striding away.

* * *

"-Really nothing we can do but wait," Agent Fredricks from R&D told Fury. "The spell the Enchantress used was untapped magic, we don't have anything like it in our reports. Plus, considering that it's a combination of two spells, charged with lightning, that we don't know, we would need a thunder storm and knowledge we don't possess just to try and figure out the spell itself. And also-"

"Fury," Clint piped from the director's elbow. "Fury, we're _staaar-vi-ing_. Don't you have any food on this base?"

The agent frowned and checked his watch. "How long have they been here?" He asked, a little too accusatory for Fury's liking.

"We've been here for hours," Clint told him.

"You've been here for two hours, Clint, don't exaggerate," Fury said shortly. "Didn't I tell you to go play?"

"Yeah, like an hour and a half ago," Clint whined. "We're _all_ hungry. Tony's hungry, and Amora is hungry, and Nat's hungry, Thor won't shut up about it, and-"

"Did you forget to give them food?" The agent inquired, raising an eyebrow.

"You wanna take care of them, Fredricks?" Fury asked sarcastically.

Fredricks paled. "No sir," He said hastily. "Sorry sir. I'll, uh, get you updates as soon as I can." He turned to leave.

"Agent," Fury said, stopping his retreat. "Go pick up some fast food and bring it back here in under ten minutes while I gather up the kids. Then. Find me. A cure."

"Yes sir," Fredricks nodded and practically ran from the room.

Fury's mouth twitched in amusement and he turned to the rest of the room. "Alright," He called. "I want everyone to come sit at the big round table!"

No one listened. Not even Bruce.

Fury sighed and walked over to where Steve, Thor, and Clint were playing some sort of game he didn't understand with upside down chairs and lot's of shouting. Clint and Thor were very active, and Steve was panting as he tried to keep up with them. Right, he had Asthma.

"Hey," Fury said, grabbing Steve before he could follow Clint under a chair. "Go sit at the table and take deep breaths."

"I'm fine, sir," Steve panted, clutching his side.

"Do you need an inhaler?" Fury asked dryly. When the boy provided a nod, Fury snapped his fingers at Hill, halting the agent. "Go get an inhaler for Mr. Rogers, and make it quick."

"Yes sir," Hill said. She looked frustrated with the situation, but none the less complied, which was one thing Fury especially liked in her. She was tough, level-headed, effective, and opinionated, but she still respected and responded to authority. Even if that meant babysitting the Avengers.

"Now," Fury said, turning to the children again. "Go sit at the round table quietly until I tell you that you can get up. And I will not repeat myself again."

Thor and Clint ran to the table and Steve followed them at a slow walk. Satisfied, Fury turned to where Tony, Bruce, and Amora were playing a game. It looked interesting, so Fury paused to watch for a second.

Tony was wearing the older Bruce's pair of glasses and pushing them up his nose, inspecting some imaginary thing on the floor as he did so. He looked up and said something to Bruce, who smilingly handed him some papers, and then Tony snapped his fingers at Amora, who grinned and then promptly pretended to faint.

Curiosity spiked, Fury stepped over to them and raised an eyebrow at Tony.

"We're playing spies," The boy exclaimed immediately. "I'm the head spy, and I just found some serious evidence that somebody was murdered here. Bruce is my right-hand-man. Like Watson, except cooler. He's a cop turned CIA agent with a dark past."

Bruce nodded excitedly. "I get a badge," He said with a smile. "It's imaginary, but it's mine."

"And Mori wanted to play the female lead," Tony said with a nod to Amora.

"... Mori?" Fury inquired.

"Amora was too long," Tony explained, waving an airy hand. "Besides, Mori is a better name for a female lead. I said she should be one of those super-cool girls with guns like Princess Leia, but she said she wanted to be the 'maiden' that the strong hero rescues. Mostly, we figure she means the damsel-in-distress type so I told her she had to faint if she wanted to play that role."

"I get to be rescued from a dire sia... sigu..." Amora started, frowning when she couldn't pronounce the word.

"Situation," Tony supplied for her before his eyes lit up and he turned to Fury again. "Do you wanna play?" He asked excitedly. "You can be the cool boss!"

"Actually," Fury said. "I came over to tell you it's nearly time for lunch. I want you all to go sit at the round table and wait there for food."

"Oh," Tony said, looking upset. "Can you play after?"

"I'm very busy," Fury said. "Maybe you can get someone else to play with you." He looked around and frowned at the absence of both red and black hair. "Do you know where Natasha and Loki ran off to?" He asked Tony.

"They're up there," The miniature billionaire supplied, pointing to a ledge near the ceiling that would hardly be big enough for the adult version of Barton to perch on or, considering the lack of available climbing spaces, even reach.

"How did they get up there?" Fury asked skeptically.

"They climbed," Bruce said. When Fury turned to him, he ducked his head a little and fell silent.

"How'd they manage that?" Fury prodded.

"Well, Natasha jumped off of a chair," Bruce said with a frown. "And spun to grab the ledge with her hands before going up, and then she helped Loki because he couldn't quite reach."

Fury took a couple steps back and managed to spot Natasha and Loki, both coloring on pieces of paper. Natasha was sitting cross-legged and smiling at her paper, her hair pulled out of her face with what looked like a torn bit of Loki's shirt, and the mischief god was lying on his stomach and kicking his feet in the air while he colored.

"Loki! Natasha!" Fury called to them. "It's time for lunch, come down from there." And then, as an afterthought. "And be careful, I don't have time to treat any injuries!"

Natasha jumped off of the ledge effortlessly, her paper gripped to her chest, and Loki frowned as he inspected the challenge before him.

"Would you like some help?" Fury inquired.

Loki shook his head, but handed Fury his paper for safe keeping without a word as he started working on lowering himself down part of the wall.

Fury looked at his drawing and saw that it was a picture, nicely drawn for a five-year-old, of Fury himself, along with all the other kids. A little drawn version of Loki was holding his hand and everyone in the picture was smiling. Above the drawing were the words 'my new friends'.

Just as Fury was about to look up at Loki and comment on his drawing, the boy managed to get himself down and ran to the table without taking his picture, blushing red. Fury sighed and folded the paper, sticking it in his pocket to give to the little godling later.

"I WANT SUSTENANCE!" Thor shouted from his seat. "I've been waiting for forever! Hello, Brother." To Loki, who just sat next to him. "Where did you get off to?"

"Coloring with Lady Tasha," Loki told him quietly.

"What did you draw?" Thor asked curiously.

"I lost it," Loki said without hesitation.

"Oh well," Tony said with a shrug. "Bruce and I were gonna play more spies when we finished lunch. Do you wanna play? You could be the super smart, yet surprisingly athletic computer guy."

"Alright Anthony," Loki agreed, grinning slightly in surprised pleasure. "What's a computer?"

"What did you color, Nat?" Clint asked Natasha, smiling at her.

"балет" Natasha told him, pushing her picture over to him. It was a drawing of a girl in a flowing ballerina costume, dancing on a stage. "Girl dance."

"That's a nice picture," Clint said appreciatively. "You're very good at drawing."

"That drawing is hardly worth noting," Thor scoffed. "And the girl's face looks odd. The color is too yellow for it to be a work of _real_ artistry. In Asgard-"

"In Asgard," Tony cut him off with a glare. "People are stunningly imbecilic, apparently. Not to mention, they're incapable of being reticent or taciturn and are so unappreciative of the endowments of a talented seven-year-old that it's actually moderately comical. Just shut up, will you?!"

Even Fury blinked a little in surprise, and he mentally tried to figure out what reticent and taciturn meant.

Thor, for his part, was silent for once and simply stared at Tony in shock while the younger, smaller, and certainly weaker boy glowered at him.

"Alright, not _all _people from Asgard," Tony amended. "Because I don't see _Loki_ acting so contemptuous and highfalutin. _He_ isn't being sanctimonious. But you are _seriously_ starting to exasperate me. I'm a freaking _prodigy_ and I'm not being such a holier-than-thou, backwards, moron!" He sat back down and glanced at Fury apologetically. "Sorry, I didn't mean to say 'freaking', I was just really fed-up with him."

"I would've used a stronger word," Fury told him uncaringly.

"How... He..." Thor stuttered, turning to Fury. "Are you not going to... He said... To _me_!"

"Was that even _English_?" Steve asked, staring at Tony in wonder. "You're _six_!"

"Yeah, it comes with the territory," Tony told him airily before turning to Fury with determination. "I'll accept my punishment now."

Fury hesitated, not sure what punishment to give Tony for saying – in _much_ more words – what he had been wanting to say to Thor ever since the word 'mortal' had fallen from the god's lips.

"Er... No cell phone," He decided, holding out his hand for the device he'd given Tony earlier.

Tony handed him the phone without complaint and went back to talking with Bruce as if nothing had happened.

"You took his black box?" Thor demanded. "He called me... So many names I cannot count them!"

"And you deserved every one for being a brat all day," Fury told him. "And _you've_ insulted plenty of people today and went unpunished. You called Clint cowardly and unchivalrous and have been deeming things beneath you since you got here. You told Agent Hill her orders were incompetent. You wanna be punished for that?"

"... No?" Thor tried uncertainly.

"Then shut up," Fury said slowly. As Thor lapsed into dissatisfied (and yet at the same time, guilty) silence, the director turned to see that Loki was grinning from ear to ear and frowned. "What are you so happy about?" He demanded.

"Nothing," Loki said hastily.

"Really?" Fury said sarcastically. "No, tell me before I punish _you_ too."

"You would punish me for being cheerful?" Loki asked innocently.

"I would punish you for not respecting my authority," Fury told him. "Now, what are you so happy about?"

"It is not of importance," Loki said, his eyes wide and pleading. "I don't want to say in present company."

Fury didn't care enough to debate with him. "Whatever," He sighed, massaging his temples. "Where is agent Fredricks with the food? Hill!"

Hill appeared, looking frazzled as she thrust an inhaler into Steve's hands and turned to Fury in clear exasperation. "Did you know," She started, obviously just venting and not actually inquiring. "That there is not a single Asthmatic person on this Helicarrier? And we don't have a single first aid kit either! I had to leave on a quinjet and go to the nearest drug store, and _get_ an inhaler! We need to invest!"

"Hill, where is agent Fredricks?" Fury demanded.

"I didn't see him," Hill told him, still frowning. "Maybe he got stuck in traffic or something. With the day I've been having, it wouldn't surprise me."

"Fury?" Clint cut in. "What's for lunch?"

"Take-out," Fury told him. "And it's on it's way, sit patiently."

"What do you think I was doing the whole time Tony was speaking smart-people?" Clint inquired sarcastically.

"Don't be a brat," Fury warned before thinking of something. "And he wasn't speaking smart-people. I'm actually fairly certain he would have said it a lot less eloquently if he wasn't trying to one-up Thor."

Tony turned to him and winked before going back to his and Bruce's conversation about the different kinds of take-out they liked (apparently, Bruce didn't get all that much take-out and Tony liked chicken-nuggets, but hated getting Happy Meals).

If you wanted something done right, you had to do it yourself. Fury checked his watch and sighed in exasperation. He decided that Fredricks was taking way too long and then turned and made the worst mistake of his life.

He left the room.

* * *

_Okay, real fast, if anyone was wondering what Tasha says in Russian (or Fury), then I can tell you. The first thing she is in chapter one is 'tell me where I am', and then she says 'America?'. And when Fury tells her something in that same chapter, he says 'get in the plane before I make you'. And in this is chapter, the only Russian word is the word for Ballet, which was said when Natasha showed Clint her picture. Now you know. All of that Russian stuff, and any more to come, was translated on .com_

_Also, I wanted to note that Tony's little speech where he yelled at Thor took a while to write, because I had to look up words and go through the Thesaurus (by 'go through the Thesaurus', I mean I looked up words via and found all the long words, transferred them to and made sure they meant what I thought they meant). I'm particularly proud of sanctimonious and taciturn._

_Hey, if you liked the story so far, make sure to follow and favorite and review! And you should check out some of my other stories too, like Networking (which is a crack!fic) and Cats in the Tower (which is a cute team bonding fic with kittens. KITTENS!) and Liesmith (which is a more serious, but still fun Loki redemption fic with lots of Harry Potter references.). Peace._

_Jo~_


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